I spent the entire day at home, the visitation and funeral was at 1 pm. It was hard, it's still hard. I'm trying to work through it. Thankfully, one of my professors is letting me take a final I was supposed to have tomorrow on Wednesday instead. I get to take it in his office and an extra day to study. Thank God. I'm so overwhelmed with everything and I can't imagine studying for two finals tonight. I'm already about ready to crash. Which I think I'm about to go to sleep, so I can wake up early and study some more for my final that is at noon...
Happy finals season.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Finals... day one.
Finals weeks is officially here. Three tests stand in the way of me and sweet sweet freedom. I'm having to study pretty hardcore today for my two test that are Tuesday. I'm driving home tomorrow morning for my great grandmothers funeral. It still fully hasn't hit me yet. I think it will when I get there and my cousin and I start talking face to face. He's the only one I would talk to growing up that was not my parents. We just understand each other and what we are thinking. Tomorrow it becomes real and tomorrow is going to be a very hard day. And long. I'm leaving here by 730 AM.
Last night we (Auburn University) won the SEC Conference Championships. It was amazing. Words can't express how phenomenal Toomer's Corner was. If you don't know what Toomer's Corner is, the tradition states that with any Auburn victory we go and roll the Oak trees that are on the corner across from Toomer's drug store downtown. There's a long story behind it, I could tell you but I'm sure no one cares. Well we got to Toomer's and it was insane I will try and upload a picture or two at the end of this post. A guy who has apparently been crushing on me super hard for a while now miraculously found us and right before we parted ways kissed me under a rolled Toomer's corner. It was highly unexpected, and weird. Haha. But hey, we just got told we were going to the National Championship Game... EMOTIONS WERE HIGH! haha.
Now, I'm studying for a Marketing final and a Management final. Both are Tuesday. I will probably die. I emailed my Management professor and told him about my situation and asked if I could somehow take my final on Wednesday. I don't know if it will work or not. But it was worth a shot and at least I tried. The test won't be too hard, I'm not that worried if I can't move it, but I would like to.
I'm just very overwhelmed by everything and finals is just adding to the stress of it all. Time to get back to the grind... marketing here I come.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Saying it makes it real
I've struggled with writing this post for about 6 days now. I didn't want to have to type this out and actually think these words but it seems like I need to say it. For myself. So I can start really understanding. This post could get long, and for that I apologize I just really need to say everything, that way I can begin to understand.
My great grandmother was put in the hospital two weeks ago today. She was having trouble swallowing and as a precaution they wanted to run some test. A simple test was being run and they found cancer on her lungs. She has never smoked a day in her life but alas it took a hold of her. They decided to put a tube down her throat to see if they could understand what was going on with her inability to swallow. The tube wouldn't even go down.
The doctor came in and told her she had cancer, and chemo wouldn't help. They couldn't figure out why she could not swallow anything. She stayed in the hospital for 6 days and then they sent her home.
They sent her home. Someone stays with her at all times. She can hardly walk, after sitting up for a short time she gets tired, and she sleeps most of the time. They gave her two to three weeks when she was sent home. The one week mark passed yesterday. The doctor sent my grandma Roney, my sweet sweet great grandmother home to starve to death because they couldn't do anything to help her. She's in constant pain, constant. She can't even swallow water. She's slowly disappearing before our eyes and they can't do a damn thing about it. And you know where I'm at? Auburn, because I have finals.
I should be home. I should be sitting in her living room being there for her--for my family. Talking to her on the good times that she has when she can talk. But no, I'm here trying to find the will to study for finals that are next week.
It's become real because I've finally accepted it.
And I hate it.
My great grandmother was put in the hospital two weeks ago today. She was having trouble swallowing and as a precaution they wanted to run some test. A simple test was being run and they found cancer on her lungs. She has never smoked a day in her life but alas it took a hold of her. They decided to put a tube down her throat to see if they could understand what was going on with her inability to swallow. The tube wouldn't even go down.
The doctor came in and told her she had cancer, and chemo wouldn't help. They couldn't figure out why she could not swallow anything. She stayed in the hospital for 6 days and then they sent her home.
They sent her home. Someone stays with her at all times. She can hardly walk, after sitting up for a short time she gets tired, and she sleeps most of the time. They gave her two to three weeks when she was sent home. The one week mark passed yesterday. The doctor sent my grandma Roney, my sweet sweet great grandmother home to starve to death because they couldn't do anything to help her. She's in constant pain, constant. She can't even swallow water. She's slowly disappearing before our eyes and they can't do a damn thing about it. And you know where I'm at? Auburn, because I have finals.
I should be home. I should be sitting in her living room being there for her--for my family. Talking to her on the good times that she has when she can talk. But no, I'm here trying to find the will to study for finals that are next week.
It's become real because I've finally accepted it.
And I hate it.
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